Thursday, July 21, 2011

When did I become the no-talent ass clown?

My kids used to think I was the coolest, smartest, hippest mom on the planet. Now they sneer at me as if I'm some no-talent ass clown that somehow stumbled into their otherwise perfect lives. They remind me on a daily basis that I do everything wrong, that I know absolutely nothing about life and that I wear my underwear too high because you can sometimes see it peeking out above my super ultra-low rise jeans - the ones that look soooo adorable on me according to the 17-year-old clerk at the Gap who I'm quite certain wouldn't know a pair of Prada shoes if they kicked her in the ass. Sorry, I digress...

I don't seem to know how to text fast enough, walk far enough away from my children in public, sing on key, or that every body is wearing string bikinis and has a Facebook account when they are 13. I am clearly way behind. What's worse is that when my daughters have friends over I sometimes breathe out of synch, say something really embarassing like "anyone want ice cream?" or suggest they go to bed at 3:30am. What a mess I am.

So what do you do all wrong as a parent? Please let me know so that I can enjoy some fine company here on the island of misfit parents. Leave a comment below in the brown box - just hit the red "comment" and join me!!
My daughter doing her rendition of
"I Whip My Hair Back and Forth:
And she think's I'm weird?

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