|Not my husband - but you get the idea|
Look, I know traveling can be exhausting, but so can refereeing an argument between your 14- and 12-year-old daughters who are doing a little "smackdown" to see who gets to ride shotgun.
It's hard trying to determine if you should keep counting to 10 or untangle the hair that is now wrapped around the emergency brake handle. Sometimes I could use another judge. But alas, he's busy enjoying all that extra leg room in business class.
So I will trudge through the week, waiting for his calls when he reports that he only has a few minutes to talk because the champagne reception is about to begin. That's brutal. Who wants to go to something like that when you can be home checking your kids' Language Arts journal response? I'm so glad I don't have to travel for work. Way too hard.
Since I don't want him to miss out on all the one-on-one parenting fun, I am planning a girls' weekend away. I don't want to go — I will simply sacrifice myself so that he, too, can soak up the joy that eludes him during these obligatory business trips. I will call him before I have to go to the silly spa to see how things are going. "So sorry, honey, Felipe is here. I really wish I were there to see the music video the girls produced to "Boom Boom Pow," but I have to get this massage over with. Adios, mi amor!"
He'll hang up thinking how awful it must be for me and how guilty he feels for having so much more fun. Then he'll hit himself over the head with a hammer.
For those of you who are thinking I'm being sarcastic or facetious, you must have teenage children and know a little bit about the family dynamic that is so "special" at this time.
It is hard to be away from people who think you don't know anything and that you embarrass them with every spoken word. It is difficult to leave such wise young sages. How did they get so smart at such a young age?