The Things We Say

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This is a post by my guest contributor, Sue Thomson, a teacher and mom of three girls (I refer to her as the 'outnumbered')

Becoming a mother was something I waited a long time to do. In fact I was almost thirty-one when I had my first. I was one of the last in my circle of friends to take the plunge. And there aren’t any words to describe it….
However, there are a few words that I have said since becoming a parent that I just can’t believe have come out of my mouth. I am sure we all have our lists, but here are my top ten jaw dropping phrases:

10. I do not know what rhymes with vagina.
9. We don’t eat the gunk on the bottom of our shoes.
8. Yes, your scab does look like bacon.
7. No, it won’t taste like bacon.
6. Hello…Poison control? My daughter just drank KY lotion.
5. She thought the raisin was an earplug.
4. Yes, girls do have built-in aim. (in the bathroom)
3. No that string isn’t where the doctor sewed me up after I had your sister! Now please let me have some privacy! (still in the bathroom)
2. Mommy and Daddy were saving water. (I need to get a lock on that door)
And finally,
1. Yes, I really do like watching six soccer games in one weekend. (said to a friend, in the rain, on a November weekend). I have become an official soccer mom.

So parenting has presented me with some challenges. But nothing can prove a mother’s love more than wanting to watch those KY guzzling, scab eating, gunk picking, privacy stealing girls run down the soccer field in a cold drizzle. They are my little stars and I’m sure they will keep giving me many reasons to say the things I never thought I (or anyone else) would have to say!