Elated Confusion - Part III

So the story continues with the second call from the breast surgeon last Wednesday morning, two days after I had been told I had breast cancer.

There had been a terrible mixup. I had been given preliminary diagnostic information. One pathologist had suspected that some atypical cells might be cancerous and had made some notations in my file. It turned out, after further evaluation, that I had atypical ductal hyperplasia (ADHP) - not cancer - but sometimes a precursor to it. As a result, I am at higher risk but currently didn't need any further treatment.

What? My emotions literally threw up. I felt enormously relieved, confused and angry. How could this have happened? And yet, Thank God!

My husband and I met with the surgeon that afternoon and he explained how embarassed and sorry he was that he had provided me with information before the final diagnostic report had been filed. He had only been doing it in an effort to prepare me for our meeting, to give me time to wrap my head around what he thought to be an unfortunate diagnosis. He promised he would never forget my name or my face, and that he would forever change the way he practiced medicine based on this bad judgement call. Other patients would be spared my ordeal. And that was enough.

I forgave him.

And so I had to go about "undoing" all the communication I had had with hundreds of friends, family, colleagues, etc. I had to tell everyone that I didn't actually have cancer but came damn near close - if that makes any sense at all. My world was at the same moment back to normal and never to be the same again. You don't forget this type of thing. (And yes, I will be going to a breast specialist to get a second look and hopefully be cleared again in the next few months.)

But trust me, when you literally walk in someone's shoes for 2 days, you don't forget what you have learned. And I learned plenty.

Stay tuned for Part IV - Finding My Dimples Again