If you give a girl a cell phone. Our 11-year-old daughter enjoys researching her favorite cell phone styles and colors on the Internet. She actually believes (incorrectly)that she will soon be the proud owner of a pink razor phone, which according to Overstock.com, is more than just a communications device. It's a statement about who you are. Here's a statement about who she is. She's a kid with no job and no ability to pay a monthly phone bill. She's also a very safe, hovered-over kid, with no emergencies to communicate. My reluctance to support this purchase is not just about the money, although I am cheap. Nor is it just about my annoyance with my own cell phone, which I'd rather not have. It has more to do with the trouble kids can get into with texting, surfing the Internet, taking and sharing photos, and generally walking through life with a phone permanently affixed to their ears.
It's not necessary, and it can only lead to requests for more. It's a slippery slope that follows the logic immortalized in Laura Joffe Numeroff's classic children's storybook "If You Give a Moose a Muffin" and the equally great, but lesser known "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie."
Here's my version. If you give a girl a cell phone, she'll lose it and want it replaced with an iPhone. If you give her the iPhone, she'll want a matching iMac. And if you give her the iMac, she'll want a 2008 Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren, which retails for $495,000 (base model). 
This also holds true for other requests, such as: If you tell your daughter she can pierce her ears when she's 12, she'll talk you down to 11. When the ears get pierced at 11, younger sis will attempt to bargain for 10. The 11-year-old will want to pierce other body parts, get a tattoo, wear apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur, and have the whole club looking at her. Soon, she'll be dancing at Kittens Gentleman's Club. It's just a bad idea. So no, my dear, you will not be getting a cell phone anytime soon. But I'd be happy to sit down with you for a quick reading of "If You Give a Pig a Pancake." And, if you are ever in an emergency, just ask anyone you see around you to borrow their cell phone. They all have them. As you frequently remind me, you are the only one on the planet who doesn't.
First, you are absolutely not alone in your views. My husband and I have pondered this MANY times and we agree whole heartedly. Second, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie is a family favorite - loved the analogy. Third, I'm reminded of a line that the comedian Chris Rock once said regarding his being a parent to daughters "My only job in this world is to keep them off the pole. Because how bad must I have screwed up to let THAT happen?" As parents to two young girls (2.5 and 5), I must say, this is often our secret mantra. (Sorry to shock!) But, as far as I'm concerned, it is in the same vein as no cell phones, no piercings, no belly shirts, and no chat rooms. Mean parents unite!
ReplyDeleteDear Resident Dad -I have to agree with Resident Mom - I think you are enjoying this blog more than her!! I know you especially liked being camera boy the other day!!! Also - I think you may need to add some fiber to that diet - you sound a little anal about the phone..come on - let a girl have what she needs! How do you sleep at night knowing your daughter is the ONLY girl with no cell phone?? I can't imagine the humiliation she must feel at school! I thought the matra was supposed to be, "follow the child" - she obviously NEEDS this tool to be happy in life!! (this all, of course, is from a mom who won't buy cell phones, ipods, etc for my children - we have walkie talkies! we have cassette players - who needs that other stuff??!)
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness, Resident Dad, love what you wrote!!!!
As the father of two daughters, 11 and 10, I know and struggle with this as well. But, my 11 yr. old does have a cell phone. My wife and I struggled with the decision for a while, but have been happy with our decision. Keep in mind that I'm proud to own the moniker, "The Meanest Dad in the World," something I tell my kids all the time.
ReplyDeleteWe have very specific rules about it (it's not for chatting with friends, no web and no texting), and failure to follow the rules is something we haven't yet had to deal with, after she's had it for almost a year.
There have been a number of occasions when I was glad she had her phone, for example, the school bus broke down, someone neglected to pick up the kids as planned, etc.
Framed as a privilege, not a right, and given with a set of rules and responsibilities, I've been pleased with her and how she has responded to having the phone. When I was a kid, as I got older the privilege was to be able to wonder farther from home. I don't know many parents today who don't know where their kids are at all times, so I think there needs to be a surrogate privilege for a good kid who needs to learn how to handle additional responsibilities.
I am adopting your new mantra because I love it so much...
ReplyDeleteLet's vow to 'keep 'em off the pole'
Works for me!
-S